Bill's Great Decree
"I think it's about time I made a decree in this land," said Bill, standing up and stretching. He coughed
loudly to get attention. This didn't work, because the fanfare was still playing, as the fanfarers marched away from
his throne. Bill grabbed a steak and chucked it at one of their heads, to get the attention he deserved. The Ron he
hit fell to the ground unconscious. Another Ron noticed and notified the head fanfaring Ron. Ron turned the troop
around and they marched and fanfared towards Bill.
"I have a grand decree to make," announced Bill. Then fanfarers began to fanfare again. But just as they
were getting into the part that had the melodies that implied great heroic feats, the head Ron barged through the
crowd of Rons toward Bill.
"Stop!" he shouted. The fanfarers did. "I must speak with the Ron of the ancient prophecies to tell him his
destiny." Bill rolled his eyes, realizing now that the catch was going to be revealed. He was probably going to be
sacrificed to a volcano, or drowned or something even worse. At best he was going to be put into some kind of
monastery that encouraged excessive fasting.
The man approached Bill. He leaned on a staff a lot to emphasize his importance as a wise person. "You,
oh great Ron of the ancient prophecies, have a mission."
"What is it?" grunted Bill through mouthfuls of food. Figuring this was his last good meal, he wasn't going
to miss out by listening to his death sentence very carefully.
"You aren't the first," said the head Ron.
"Nobodies the first," grunted Bill. Ribs, wings, steaks, beef and burgers. Fast.
"You are the 497th," said the head Ron.
"Important, yes," grunted Bill. No time to spare. They've done this 497 times before, they aren't going to
give any exceptions this time either.
"You are the 497th," repeated the head Ron, as if this was important, "Ron of the ancient prophecies."
"Good," grunted Bill, not listening at all.
"I was the 496th," he said, "It is your job to find the next one. Get down from the throne."
"WHAT?" cried Bill, upset that the lecture had not lasted longer, "I don't want to die yet!"
"You're not going to die," said Ron, "You are going to find the 498th Ron of the ancient prophecies."