The Planet of Infinite Piles of Greasy Good Food
"Maybe we should go into light-speed to burn the nasty thing off our ship," suggested Ed.
"Maybe we should," said Bill. He grinned with thoughts of landing his ship on the Planet
of Infinite Piles of Greasy Good Food.
"SPM-2, take us to the Planet of Infinite Piles of Greasy Good Food," commanded Bill.
"Which sector, sir?"
"Twenty-three," said Bill.
"Bloop," said SPM-2. SPM-2 began to rev it's large mega-engines up in order take off.
And then did.
Bill and Ed both smiled as Ron disappeared from view. They figured that Truth would
pick him on the way to the High Council, and put him in that. Then he would be neatly out of
the way. They also smiled at the tentacles on the windshield that were slowly slipping
"Well, we may not be burning the nasty thing off," said Bill, "But we're sure not giving it
a joy ride, 'eh?"
"Eh!" said Ed in agreement.
The ship stopped. "Sorry," said SPM-2.
"What's to be sorry about?" asked Ed.
SPM-2 refused to respond, and flashed some lights at them to indicate that something
important was going on that was making response impossible at the moment. The tentacled
thing wrapped itself around the ship and began to haul them towards a planet that appeared
"What planet is that?" asked Bill.
"I don't think it is the Planet of Infinite Piles of Greasy Good Food," said Ed.
"No," said Bill, "the planet we're looking at is definitely a shade of gray, not brown.
Grease is brown."
"I like greasy foods," said Ed.
"Don't we all," said Bill, as he admired his belly, which was of standard galactic size, but
he sometimes pretended that he had a large gut. Once he read that babes are impressed by big
The slugly tentacle monster kept taking them towards the planet while SPM-2 refused to
comment. Bill and Ed both became nervous.
"The best way to relieve tension," said Bill, "is to talk about happy things."
"Ron is gone," said Ed.
"Yes, that is a happy thing," said Bill.
"The tentacle beast didn't rip our ship open and kill us yet," said Ed.
"That is also very happy."
"The planet we are being taken to us unknown, so that might be adventurous," said Ed.
Bill grunted, not really agreeing that this was a good thing. Instead he sang a song about
greasy food for a few minutes. He stroked his face thinking about the number of greasy burgers
one could make with a hideous beast like the one attached to the ship.
The ship slowly got taken down to the surface of the nameless gray planet. The tentacled
monster took a large bite out of one of the more important parts of SPM-2 and ran off.
"We're not going to be able to get away from here now," said Bill.
They opened the hatch and jumped out, SPM-2 wasn't up for doing these things for them.
The natives were standing around them in a semi-circle. They were all holding small
"Welcome to Ron-Land," said the leader who was wearing a feathery hat.