The Definitive Work of Theology, Naked Night
by: Philip Hassey

        I walked into Justin's room at about ten with good plans to go to bed at about eleven. Those plans never worked, because whenever we put time into The Definitive Work of Theology I kept us up until about one or two. Worthwhile time spent. As of today, the work is not complete, nor actually started, but it is in the works. One must have a large background of spending late nights muttering about theology from all viewpoints before a definitive work can be written about it.
        "Hmmn," I said very contemplatively at about 1:00 after Justin had just revealed a completely revolutionary new kind of theology to me. A few seconds later, screams could be heard from down the hall. They became louder. Voices were heard, yelling and stomping. They were getting closer and closer. Justin and I turned around to see.
        "Lukey! Give me a huggie!" screamed Holcomb as he ran naked after Lukey with his arms outstretched for embrace.
        Lukey charged away as quickly as he could just out of Holcomb's grasp and ran out the door.
        Justin and I looked at Holcomb, he was very naked. We stood up, and dropped our pants, and ran into Lukey's room, while tossing any other articles of clothing into the air.
        "We're gonna scar Lukey," we reassured, Esh.
        "Wooah, guys," said Esh, "Watch out with that action. I don't want to see this."
        "Don't worry, we're only naked," I said. And with that we sat down on Lukey's bed and waited for him to come in and be scarred by us.
        "So," I said to Justin.
        "So," he said, as we waited.
        "This is real theology, ya know," I said.
        "Yup," he said.
        "Arrrrgh!" skreetched Luke as he peered in to his room for a half a second then ran down the hall again.
        "We scarred him," I said to Justin.
        "Somehow I feel as though it's all gonna be allright now," said Justin.
        "Arrrgh! Hahaha!" skreetched Dan as he poked Francis' super-soaker into room and blasted me and Justin until we were quite wet and naked.
        "We're wet now," I mentioned to Justin.
        "Yes," he agreed. We stood up, "Woah guys," said Esh, "Warn me next time."
        "Don't worry," I said, as we bent down to put our underwear back on.
        "Woah," said Esh.
        "Sorry," said Justin.
        We walked down the hall, got blasted again with water, and turned around to see Dan standing there, completely unaware of Holcomb coming up from behind him. We grinned. Holcomb sacked him. So beginning the wildest naked wrestling I'd ever seen. Dan screamed as Holcomb hugged him all over.

        After the excitement died down, I put dry clothes on, and Justin and I finished our theological discussion.
        "You see," I said, "God created us perfectly naked before we fell, so if someone is perfect, then they should be walking around naked."
        "There are nudist colonies," said Justin.
        "I hear most of them are full of fat people though," I remarked.
        "I don't think Jesus walked around naked either," he said.
        "I guess not," I said, and paused before I continued, "Well, we did."
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