A Year of Nothing, then Pork Rinds
by: Philip Hassey

        Then, nothing happened in Shen for about a year. A lot of things happened outside of Shen, but nothing much happened in Shen. Fealko became cool in a weird sort of way, I got apparently got over some of my baggage, and I started dating Nan.
        The summer came and went, and I got engaged to her. I kept rooming with Francis, and he started to hate his harem. Lukey roomed with Esh, and I started to loath him for being a fundamentalist extremist. Justin and I started to write the Definitive Work of Theology, and were bitter about it. Then he received some pork rinds in the mail.

        "Hey guys," said Justin, "look what I got in the mail from my mom," he held up a dirty looking red bag. It said Pork Rinds on it.
        "What are they?" asked Tim, who asked out of laziness rather than stupidity, being too far away to read the writing on the side.
        "Pork Rinds," announced Justin who held the bag high.
        "That's disgusting," said Tim, "Give me those." and he grabbed them.
        "Microwavable?!" he screamed, "Take them away!" as he threw them back at Justin.
        "They're Hot and Spicy Microwavable Pork Rinds," said Justin. He smiled a flat untoothy smile, because he didn't like to show off his exotic underbite.
        "Are they gross?" I asked nervously.
        "Of course they are!" shouted Tim, being one who would know that sort of thing, I guess.
        "Why?" I asked, "Did she send those to you? Does she hate you?"
        "I'm not sure," said Justin, "I haven't ever had Microwavable ones before." I think we were all nervous about them, but at that age, everyone is nervous about things like that. Thus began the last two weeks of the first semester of our sophomore year.

        For more information on pork rinds, see the Pork Rinds section of this website. Enlightenment is within grasp.
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