Jed and Stewart working at a desk. Jed was a very happy pet rock. Stewart loved the way nobody else had ever loved a pet rock before. Stewart was a little socially maladjusted, but that didn't make him a bad person. He was only a little strange.

Stewart had grown up in a weird family. His parents were berserk for the most part, a stark contrast to the quietness of their only child. They often had green or orange hair. Stewart always had sort black hair that was parted in the middle. He wore a watch on one arm. He did not carry a grandfather clock around with him periodically like his parents wanted him to. He was a disappointment to his parents.

Stewart realized that he wasn't really appreciated by his parents. So he tried to make friends. He tried. Unfortunately, little children are evil, and none would play with Stewart. They made fun of his uncomfortable clothing, and his parted hair. They laughed at him, and that really hurt Stewart. The scars from childhood last forever. Stewart will probably take over the world. Or at least pretend to in some dark basement. Stewart gives Jed a bubble bath.

Perhaps it would have been nice for Stewart to make friends with the animal kingdom. He was allergic to all of them. Even fish. They gave him weird rashes, and so even though the animals were comforting to him, the itches got too bad, and the mockery he got at home and at school for having strange patches all over his face was too much for him. He decided to become friends with Jed.

Jed was a rock. A nice happy rock. Jed didn't say anything mean to him, and would always come with him and didn't give him strange rashes. Jed weighed approximately 4 lbs. They became very good friends. Stewart dries off Jed.

Some days they would have long conversations into the dark of nighttime. Stewart would tell Jed all his secrets and Jed would listen and keep those secrets safe. Jed would always be loyal to Stewart, and wouldn't ever leave him. He would sit by his side and smile. Jed was very happy to be Stewart's pet rock. Stewart would take care of him so well, it made Jed very happy. Stewart kept Jed good and clean all the time. Stewart took care and loved him a lot. The best Jed felt he could do was sit and smile and listen to Stewart. Stewart had a lot of problems, and Jed was glad he was able to help Stewart feel better. Everybody needs someone to talk to.
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