Shakespeare Perspective

Phil Hassey
April 20, 2006
            I was a major role in the second Shakespeare play at Houghton College. Somehow I got roped in to be a pirate in some scene. I stood on an island and just looked good. I don’t even recall saying anything. In fact, out of the three nights the play was aired, I only “acted” in one of them. One of the others I just watched, and one of the others I was playing in orchestra.
            “Pirates have tattoos,” I explained.
            “You should have daisies on your nipples,” explained Justin.
            “Wouldn’t that be girly?” I asked.
            “Do you know any girls with daisies on their nipples?” asked Justin.
            I had to admit, that I didn’t.
            “Well then,” said Justin, “Let’s do this.”
            So we marched into the campus center bathroom where I broke out my markers, took of my shirt, and Justin began to demonstrate his artistic abilities.
            “I think they’ll be long stemmed daisies,” said Justin as a fellow walked in to use the facilities.
            “Make one of my nipple daisies yellow and the other pink,” I suggested.
            “I don’t think daisies come in pink,” said Justin. The fellow walked out of the restroom, obviously not comfortable with the situation. As usual, I think he was one of those prospective students.
            Speaking of prospective students, Nan spent a good two years working at the Inn at Houghton Creek. She had a less than thrilling time from what I recall. There’s nothing so fun as cleaning up hotel rooms. 
            Still, one of the better moments was when her boss Andy was putting up signs.
            “Perspective Students Here,” he posted all over the lobby of the inn.
            “Uh, Andy,” said Nan, “That’s prospective, not perspective.”
            Andy gave her a hostile look and kept putting the signs up. “I spelt it right,” he said.
            “No,” said Nan, “Prospective and perspective are different words.”
            Andy glared, “The students are coming to gain perspective.”
            “Oh,” said Nan.
            On this occasion Nan felt that the higher-ups should know about the embarrassment being brought upon the good name of the Inn at Houghton Creek. Swift action was taken and the signs were changed to read “Prospective Students Here.”
            I suppose perspective is what I gave the audience during my one night as a Shakespeare player at Houghton. Some of the perspectives that people may have gained are things like:
            “My that strapping young lad has fine nipples.”
            “I’m not so sure that male nipples should be publicly displayed and decorated any more than female nipples.”
            “Are those daisies?”
            “I didn’t know that daisies came in pink.”
            The important thing, I feel, is that many people gained new perspectives. That’s what art is for anyway. The End.

(c) 2006 - Phil Hassey & Tim Inge - The Olde Battleaxe
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