Philip Hassey
(Creative Writing 2)
the militia/the burning
Some days the Militia gets bored. Like last weekend, there just wasn't anything to do.
"So what are we going to do this weekend?" asked Giff.
"I don't know," said Doug.
"Is there anyone we hate that we could burn down their house or something?" I asked.
"Not really," said Doug.
"Let's burn down Mr. VanTol's house," I suggested.
"Okay," said Doug. Giff agreed also.
We didn't hate Mr. VanTol or anything, actually we liked him a lot. He was our favorite teacher, and all that. But, someone had to burn down his house, it might as well have been us.
On Saturday night at midnight, we drove out to Worchester, and parked several blocks from Mr. VanTol's house. It was a nice house, and a pity that we were going to have to burn it down. Someone had to burn it down, it might as well have been us.
We hiked up to the front door, and Doug just about rang the bell.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I figure we might be able to get him to feed us first," said Doug.
"True," I began, "But burning his house afterwards would just be insulting."
"Yeah," said Doug, "I guess you're right. Let's just burn it. Giff, get the gasoline ready."
Diligently we doused the house with gas. Had Mr. VanTol been watching us at the time, I'm sure he would have been proud of us. It takes a lot of talent to douse a house with gas.
"So who's going to light the match, and turn this place into a pile of ashes?" asked Giff.
"I want to," said Doug.
"Shouldn't we tell him first, so that he can get out alive," I suggested.
"No," said Doug, "When the blaze get's going he'll figure it out himself. He's bright like that."
"Okay," I said, "Fire away."
"Fire away," said Giff, "get it."
We looked at Giff with disgust. He snapped his fingers, and Doug lit up the matches, and tossed it at the house. The house caught up quickly with the flames, and we stood back a bit to watch our handiwork. The Donut Fairy would reward us grandly for our efforts.
That's when we heard the roar, and Mr. VanTol barged out of the front door.
"What do you think you're doing? That's my house you're burning down!" he shouted and pointed.
"Not anymore," said Doug.
Mr. VanTol slowly started walking forward, making gestures and generally steaming up a bit. Then Blazyk popped out from behind some bushes and walked up to Mr. VanTol.
"How are you doing, Mr. VanTol," said Blazyk, "Would you like a donut, I've got your favorite. Chocolate covered," Blazyk extended a chocolate covered donut to Mr. VanTol. He accepted the gift.
"Thank you," said Mr. VanTol, "I needed that."
We all stood there in silence and watched the blaze while we ate donuts. That's when Mr. VanTol beat up Blazyk for wearing a dress.
